My Mother. My Hero.

by Ena
(Trinidad)

My name is Ena Vieira and my mum lost her battle to pancreatic cancer on 23rd February this year (2014). It is exactly 1 month today and I miss her terribly every minute of every day and know the void she has now left in my life will always remain but then in turn too, I know I cannot be selfish because now she is no longer in any pain or suffering and is in a better place free from all of that.

My mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January 2013 and despite Drs saying they had diagnosed it early, a year later she is gone.

My mother has and will always be my hero. A woman of such great strength. She suffered with cancer (3 other types prior to the pancreatic cancer) for 24 years and fought each one but her body was not strong enough to fight this one.

Over the last year, my family and I watched this strong, healthy, energetic, full of life woman. Our matriarch, day by day weaken. Her body rapidly became weak and so very very thin. But she remained strong-willed every day to fight it. She was not going to let this cancer beat her.

For a whole year, since her diagnosis, she suffered excruciating pain and still underwent chemo to try to beat it. Despite it making her weaker.

On 19th February 2014, her Oncologist gave her the news that despite the chemo, she could only give her a matter of months left and that the cancer was incurable. On 22nd February she gained an infection in her arm which overnight rapidly spread, turning her arm black. Rushed to hospital, the Drs said that despite all the efforts to give her antibiotics, her bone marrow was not producing white blood cells due to the chemo and she had no immune system to assist the medication with fighting off the infection. Mum passed away some hours later.

Mum was the rock of our family. She and I, we were extremely similar people in terms of character and personality and so we had our occasions of mother-daughter conflict but we spoke every single day, not one day went when we didn't call the other one up (if we were not in the same country) or didn't visit the other (if we were) and even would call the other up over silly little things like something one of us had seen or was watching on the tv. And so now I miss her voice. I miss so much not being able to pick up the phone and hear her voice or get in my car and go see her.

She was the most fabulous and amazing mother, grandmother and woman to me and someone who had this unbelievable courage and determination. A true fighter. She would go without to ensure her family always had. She would sacrifice anything for herself for us. A completely selfless woman. An angel. And because of that, she has earned her place in heaven. And I just hope every day she is watching down on all of us and still guiding us as she always did in life.

I miss you and love you mum.